Four astronauts aboard the Artemis 2 returned from a 9 day mission around the moon for the first time in 50 years. They saw the far side, and photographed places that no human eye has ever seen.
The far side of the moon is hidden. It never changes. And the moon’s face on its near side always points at earth.
Even though we see it in the sky on a clear night, the moon has no light of its own. Not one photon.
That bright disc we all see up there isn’t moonlight at all. In fact, it’s sunlight… bouncing off the dusty moon surface, a quarter million miles away.
Moonlight is just a reflection. And so are we. Reflections.
As disciples of Christ, we reflect Him in how we walk. How we carry ourselves. How we conduct ourselves. How we treat others. All of this reflects Jesus.
In Ephesians Chapter 5, Paul shares this lesson of reflection with us.
Walk in Love
In the last 5 verses of Ephesians 4, these counterweights. These contrasts.
Don’t steal. Instead, work. So you can share with someone in need.
Don’t trash talk. Instead, encourage. So your words deliver grace.
Don’t be malicious. Instead, forgive. As God forgave you.
Hands. Mouth. Heart. The whole person, turned inside out. Each one for the sake of someone else.
Right in the middle of those counterweights, in verse 30, Paul says something easy to miss. “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”
Don’t grieve Him. The Greek word for “grieve” is lupeō.
It’s the same word used of Jesus in Gethsemane. “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.” It’s the word used of Peter when Jesus asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” Peter was grieved.
Real sorrow. Not annoyance. Not disappointment. Sadness. The Holy Spirit feels. And our conduct can make Him sad.
A seal in the ancient world was an ownership mark. Wax stamped with a signet ring.
We belong to Him. He has prepared and sent us. And His seal keeps our contents intact. We are owned. We are guarded. We are sealed for the day of redemption.
So when Paul says don’t grieve Him, he’s not saying don’t break a rule. He’s saying don’t sadden the Person who marked you as His own and is keeping you until you come home.
We don’t obey just because we have to. We are compelled by our new nature to please Him.
Now we move to verse 1. Therefore. Be imitators of God. Imitators.
The Greek word is mimētēs. It’s where we get the English word “mimic.” But in Greek it carried more weight than “mimic” does for us. Paul uses this word for the deepest kind of formation, being shaped by the master, not just copying him.
And imitating God would not be possible, except for the next phrase. As beloved children.
Children imitate their parents without even trying. Because they come from them. The resemblance is effortless.
That’s what protects this whole command from becoming a moral checklist. Beloved children imitate naturally.
Because that’s how we’re designed. We were made for this. Made to Reflect.
Not trying to look like Him. Made to look like Him. A fragrant offering.
Back in 2 Cor 2:15, Paul says: We are the aroma of Christ. Not we give the aroma. We are the aroma.
Flowers don’t try to be fragrant. They just are.
That’s what walking in love looks like. We don’t need Sephora or Ulta. By imitating Him, we carry God’s fragrance. We reflect it. We give it off.
So how do we please the Spirit who sealed us? We mimic Him. We walk in love. We share. We encourage. We give grace. We show kindness.
…as disciples of Jesus.
Discussion
- “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.” Paul says the Spirit feels real sorrow, the same word used of Jesus in Gethsemane. How does it change your conduct to picture saddening a Person, not breaking a rule?
- We were made to resemble Him the way children resemble their parents, effortlessly, not by straining. Where does looking like Christ still feel like strain for you?
Key Takeaways
- We imitate with our hands, our mouth and our heart. The whole person, inside out. Each of us for someone else.
- Our redeemed nature compels us to please Him. Because we carry His seal.
- Our conduct is a fragrant offering. This is effortless for God’s children.
Walk in Light
So we walk in love. We carry the fragrance. We imitate as disciples.
But Paul’s not done. Before he names the light we walk in, he names the dark we walk from.
Paul could have just said be holy. He didn’t. He gets specific. He names the darkness by name so we can’t pretend it isn’t there.
In verse 3, three vices of the mind: Sexual immorality. Impurity. Covetousness. Three angles on the same drive. The appetite that always craves more. Each runs on the same fuel of idolatry.
In verse 4, three vices of the mouth: Filthiness, foolish talk and crude joking. Each of these is corrosive. They normalize things that sting.
Paul says these must not even be named among you. Not just don’t do them. Don’t even let them be a topic.
Why? Because they don’t fit. They’re out of place for saints. Like a tuxedo at a barbecue. They don’t belong to who we are now.
Instead, Paul says in verse 4 our mouth and our mind should be filled with thanks. Thankfulness is the counterweight to a carnal mind and a filthy mouth.
Then in verses 5-7, Paul gets serious. He says the immoral and impure have no inheritance in the kingdom. If your life is defined by these things, you’re in the wrong place.
In verse 6, the Holy Spirit’s grief from Ch 4 becomes the Father’s wrath. The wrath of God comes on the children (the sons) of disobedience.
But hear what Paul already told us in Ch 2. We all once were sons of disobedience. Every one of us.
He’s not pointing across the aisle. He’s saying, do not drift back.
Don’t become partners with them (verse 7). That word “partner” means shareholders. Don’t go in on darkness. Don’t share in its portion. You have a different inheritance.
Then in verse 8, he pivots. At one time, you WERE darkness. Now you ARE light.
Identity. Who we are. So walk as children of light. Walk like what you are already.
In verse 9, the fruit of light is good, right and true. Hold those next to the dark stuff Paul just named. The contrast tells you what tree you come from.
In verse 10, only light can discern what pleases God.
In verses 11-13, notice how light exposes, just by being lit. When light enters the room, what’s been dark is no longer hidden.
And he builds to a crescendo in verse 14. Wake up. Get up. And reflect Jesus.
That’s what we do when we walk in the light as He is in the light. We reflect His light back into the World. This is what we’re made for.
Discussion
- Paul says the old darkness should not even be “named among you,” like a tuxedo at a barbecue, out of place. What have you made normal that no longer fits who you are in Christ?
- Verse 8 does not say you are in the light, it says you are light, and light exposes just by being lit. Where might simply being what you are already be shining, without you forcing it?
Key Takeaways
- We are light in Him. So walk as you are. If you find that difficult, let me gently encourage you to check your ID card.
- The fruit of light is good, right and true. The fruit of darkness produces something different.
- Christ shines on us. We reflect Him into the world. This is what we’re made for.
Pursue God’s Will
So we walk in love. We walk in light. We reflect Him into the world.
But Paul doesn’t stop there. Now he reveals how to walk wisely with the light we’re given.
Paul says, Look carefully how you walk. Not careless. Careful. Like crossing a busy road.
Don’t be distracted. Don’t stare at your phone. Be alert. Watch out. This can be dangerous.
In verses 15-16, he says walk wisely. Not foolishly. Wisely. What does walking wisely mean? He tells us: making best use of the time.
The word for time here isn’t clock time. It’s opportunity. Making the most of every opportunity. The fleeting chances.
Paul says redeem it. Reclaim it. Buy it back.
The world sells its time to other things every day. Wisdom buys back the moments while we can.
Why? Because the world is hostile and the days are evil. Time is short.
In verses 17-18, he says “Don’t be foolish. Don’t be drunk. Don’t waste your life.”
He uses the word for debauchery, the same word Luke uses for the prodigal son. Aimless. Scattered. Spending what was meant for purpose on empty pursuits. That’s not us anymore.
Instead, he encourages us to “understand what the will of the Lord is.” Pursue it. Grasp it. Know it. Live in it.
This is the application landing for the whole lesson. Walking in love. Walking in light. Walking wisely.
All of it bends toward one thing: Understanding what the Lord wills… and then doing it.
Verses 18-20, Don’t be drunk with wine. Be filled with the Spirit. Both are about being filled, being controlled. The question isn’t will you be filled. The question is, by what?
What does this look like? Praise and thanksgiving for everything. Even the hard things.
And then in verse 21, submit to one another… out of reverence (awe) for Christ.
Submit to one another. All of us. To each other. Mutually. In every direction. No hierarchy. Voluntary submission. Out of reverence for Christ.
This is what Spirit-filled people do.
Discussion
- Paul says you will be filled by something, wine or the Spirit; the only question is by what. Look at this past week honestly. What has been filling you?
- Paul says wisdom buys back the fleeting moments, spending them on the Lord’s will instead of empty things (5:16-17). Where is one ordinary hour or conversation this week you could give back to Him, instead of letting it slip?
Key Takeaways
- Walking wisely means being on the lookout. Making the most of every opportunity, buying back the moments while we can.
- Pursue His will. Study it. Understand it. Then do it. This is what the wise life walks toward.
- Be filled with praise and thankfulness. This is what Spirit-filled people do.
Something to Sit With
Three walks. One life.
Walk in love. Walk in light. Walk wisely, in pursuit of God’s will.
Underneath each is the truth we started with. We are reflections. Made to reflect the Son. Jesus.
The moon doesn’t try to shine. It just reflects what it’s facing. And so it is with us.
A few things to quietly ask yourself:
- Does my walk reflect His love? Maybe not on Sunday in front of a group. But on Tuesday in front of the people closest to me?
- What do I still keep hidden on my far side? Am I ready to walk in the light of the near side?
- What’s filling my life right now? My mind, my mouth, my time.
- Will I choose to discover and pursue His will?
Turn your face toward the Son. Let His light on your walk reflect into someone else’s world. Each of us was made for this.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I tell if I’m grieving the Holy Spirit?
Paul doesn’t leave it vague. He names it. Right around the warning he lists bitterness, anger, slander, words that tear down instead of building up (4:29, 31). That is what grieving the Spirit looks like: unkindness where God put you to give grace.
The word for grieve means real sorrow, the same word used of Jesus in Gethsemane. He is a Person. He feels.
But hear the rest of the verse before you spiral. You were “sealed for the day of redemption” (4:30). You can sadden Him. You cannot lose Him.
So the sign is not a knot in your stomach. It is the sharp word, the held grudge, the thing you already know isn’t love. When you see it, you don’t need a diagnosis. Turn back and be kind (4:32).
What does it mean to be an imitator of God?
The word is mimētēs, where we get “mimic,” but Paul means more than copying (5:1). He means being shaped by God the way a child is shaped by a parent.
And that is the phrase that makes it possible: “as beloved children.” Children imitate their parents without trying. The resemblance comes from where they came from.
So this is not a performance you put on. You are not straining to look divine. You are becoming what you already are, God’s child, and it shows.
How? “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us” (5:2). That is the imitation. Not power, not perfection. Love that gives itself away. You imitate God most when you love someone the way He loved you.
What does it mean that I’m not just in the light, but that I am light?
Read verse 8 slowly. Paul does not say you were in the dark and now you are in the light. He says “at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord” (5:8). That is identity, not location. It changed at the root.
So walking in the light is not you generating something. It is you being what you already are.
And light works by exposing, just by being lit. When it enters a room, what was hidden is hidden no more. You don’t have to force that. Turn toward Christ and the light comes off you the way it comes off the moon. Borrowed, reflected, real.
If it feels hard to believe you are light, check your ID card. The fruit, “all that is good and right and true” (5:9), tells you which tree you came from.
Why does Paul say some sins should not even be “named among” us?
Because they no longer fit who you are. Paul lists them: sexual immorality, impurity, greed, filthy talk, crude joking (5:3-4). Then he says these “must not even be named among you.” Not just don’t do them. Don’t make them your normal, your running joke, your comfortable topic.
Why so strict? Not because God is squeamish. Because they are out of place on you, like a tuxedo at a barbecue. You are set apart now.
And the counterweight he gives is not white-knuckle avoidance. It is thanksgiving (5:4). A grateful heart has less room for the craving that always wants more. So this is less about a list of banned words and more about a life so full of gratitude that the old appetites lose their grip.
What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit?
Paul sets it against being drunk: “do not get drunk with wine… but be filled with the Spirit” (5:18). Both are about being filled, being controlled. So the question is not whether you will be filled by something. You will. The question is by what.
To be filled with the Spirit is to live under His influence instead of your own appetites, and Paul writes it as ongoing, not a one-time zap. Keep being filled.
And he tells you right there what it looks like: singing, thankfulness for everything, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (5:19-21). Not strange or showy. A life of praise, gratitude, and mutual humility. If you want to know whether you are filled, look less for goosebumps and more for those.
How do I make the best use of the time?
Paul says “look carefully then how you walk… making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (5:15-16). The word for time is not clock time. It is opportunity, the fleeting chance. And “make the best use of” means buy it back, redeem it.
So this is not about cramming your calendar or being busier. The world spends its time on empty things every day. Wisdom buys the moments back for something that lasts.
Practically? Ask what the Lord’s will is in the hour you actually have (5:17), then do that. The kind word now. The obedience now. The person in front of you now. You redeem the time not by doing more, but by giving the moment you’re in to Him.
This lesson is part of the Made for This series.
Scripture quotations are from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway.